Wednesday, April 1, 2009

rockville pike, not the one in columbia



You know, I've been giving a lot of thought to moving to Rockville after college. I don't know how much I can afford it (could use a job first) but hey, it's worth not having riots when you go downtown to see a movie. And, besides, I'm tired of fighting for our crappy area with our crappy schools and our crappy shopping. I mean, is it too much to ask to have a mall where people don't get stabbed on Christmas Eve?

I think Ben Kramer had the right idea moving to Rockville. Why live on the east side when you can still represent the area while enjoying a cushy live just minutes from The Pike, the Real Pike?

Yup. Goodbye, East County. This is it. Think I'm gonna go ask Brad and Cindy at Rockville Central if they need help.

12 comments:

DK said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Thomas Hardman said...

Dan, Aspen Hill is technically "Rockville", at least according to the Post Office if not to the City of Rockville.

But we're rapidly turning into the place in Montgomery County where you're statistically most likely to be murdered in a public place. Witness the recent stabbing murder in Aspen Hill at a bus-stop when two gangstas threw down on another rival gangsta. If you want to move to "Rockville" and you don't want to have to deal with any crossover from "the dumping ground of MoCo", you ought to move to West Rockville, maybe up around Montgomery College once you get a decent job.

Of course, if I get elected, I'll be doing my best to reverse the evident Council and Executive policy of letting much of District 4 slide into the abyss. It'll be an uphill fight all of the way, but I'll stay at it. After all, I live right in the thick of it.

Democrat, Republican, Green -- you can tell who is most interested in actually doing something about that slide into being the dumping ground and poor stepchild of Montgomery. Most of the candidates are talking about spending a little more money for school-based programs, as if that's going to stop riots at concerts or stop stabbings at bus-stops. At least two of the candidates are talking about detailing special police operations with the specific task of finding specifically violent assholes and removing them from the streets by whatever means can be considered legal and will be a success.

It's a total disgrace the way that the Exec and Council have let District 4 slide so far that people like you and me are about ready to pack up and relocate. And it's no surprise that the candidates that live farthest from the problems seem to think that nothing's wrong here and that it's all hunky-dory. You and I and possibly a majority of potential voters know different.

I think I'm going to spend the rest of the campaign canvassing Aspen Hill and Layhill, because if the majority of the District only gives a ten-percent turnout to the polls overall, but I sweep 50 percent of all Aspen Hill/Layhill residents, I could very well be sitting up in the Council in June, asking them what the heck were they thinking and isn't it about time to open their eyes before all of the non-criminals in D4 vote with their feet.

hockeypunk said...

april fools!!...although you did make some good points

marylandgangs said...

Did someone actually get stabbed Christmas Eve?

Jane said...

Oh yeah, it just occurred to me - April Fool's!

Thomas Hardman said...

Oh. April Fool's.

Could be worse.

He could have posted the interview with me today.

Yikes!

Marylandmom said...

Make that shot. At Westfield Wheaton. Only the gang member got shot and another got hit with flying glass, but who cares if you happened to be out Xmas shopping while the bullets were flying? I live three blocks from there, but don't feel comfortable going to the mall, especially after dark.

Thomas Hardman said...

Try Aspen Hill where they have knife fights over the payphone out front and the librarians inside will ask you if you think there's really a gang problem in MoCo when every juvenile they serve is flying colors and representin' even as they ask the question. Oh, they also have massive homeless camps in the Aspen Hill Local Park and people get stabbed to death at bus-stops in between the occasional beheading and serial sniper attacks. And you better not cross the Convenience Store Mafia. They have heavy transnational connections, up and including spies-for-hire and text-a-gangster "guaranteed response time under 60 seconds". The police have been instructed that any white folks seen in the neighborhood who appear to be under age 50 should be frequently stopped "at random" because "the only reason they could be there would be looking for drugs".

Nothin' like living in the MoFo MoCo Ghet-To.

I'm one of the most apolitical people you could imagine... until politics turns my hometown into Montgomery County's dumping ground.

Even Wheaton gets better treatment. They have a "revitalization" plan for Wheaton.

We get NOTHING.

Just more trash.

Thomas Hardman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Thomas Hardman said...

[corrected repost]

Try Aspen Hill where they have knife fights over the payphone out front of the library and the librarians inside will ask you if you think there's really a gang problem in MoCo when every juvenile they serve is flying colors and representin' even as they ask the question. Oh, they also have massive homeless camps in the Aspen Hill Local Park and people get stabbed to death at bus-stops in between the occasional beheading and serial sniper attacks. And you better not cross the Convenience Store Mafia. They have heavy transnational connections, up and including spies-for-hire and text-a-gangster "guaranteed response time under 60 seconds". The police have been instructed that any white folks seen in the neighborhood who appear to be under age 50 should be frequently stopped "at random" because "the only reason they could be there would be looking for drugs".

Nothin' like living in the MoFo MoCo Ghet-To.

I'm one of the most apolitical people you could imagine... until politics turns my hometown into Montgomery County's dumping ground.

Even Wheaton gets better treatment. They have a "revitalization" plan for Wheaton.

We get NOTHING.

Just more trash.

Thomas Hardman said...

And meanwhile up at Del Mercado CVS...

Looks like they decided to staff up with the Rwandan Genocide Expatriate Taliban Brigade.

I'd heard that Taliban was busting their ass to put people in place in the area, but I guess I didn't think they could convert that many Kenyans or their American kids. But there ya go.

Time 10 PM. get the tapes and if you can't, there ya go and you're in the know.

Cindy Cotte Griffiths said...

Dan, Rockville Central can always use your help, even if you don't move to Rockville! Blow the lid off a story and cross post. Do some more undercover apartment shopping.

Charlie and I gave up life on 16th Street and have pangs of homesickness whenever we stop by. Heck, he proposed to me in Silver Spring and that's where we were married.

Just put me down as being into all of the MoCo.

Cindy